Held in an upscale location, surrounded by the warmth of love and community. Join us for a ceremonial approach to sensuality.
Whether you get your exhibitionist on, enjoy a cuddle or a convo, or bask in the love blanket... it's all about tuning to your desire.
You are always 100% at choice. We'll demonstrate and practice consent & negotiation skills so we can have a common language in fulfilling our desires.
• Cacao
• Meditation
• Consent review and practice
• Embodiment practice
• Free play!
There is both a facilitated portion of the evening to get us all in the mood and connected, and there is free play to explore your desire!
What to bring?
We will provide cacao, snacks, activities to get the night off to a sexy start and items for healthy play. You'll want to bring a towel, favorite toys or lube, and any outfits that turn you on.
Flow:
Arrivals begin at the published start time. Doors will close 30 minutes after. That's when we'll begin with a Tantra-themed opening circle, create a safe container together (which will include discussion and practice of consent and event rules) and share our desires. There will be some group guided activities (movement, connection games, etc) so we can get more connected. The group activity then opens up for free play, where you'll have approximately 3 hours to explore your desire. Afterwards, we'll gather for integration to share our discoveries, gratitudes, and favorite moments.
*This is a sober event - no alcohol allowed before or during. No one will be permitted if inebriated.
* Events do sell out, so get your tickets online to guarantee your spot*
"This was the best night of my life! It felt like a medicine ceremony but totally sober. To feel the goodness of my own body was it's own medicine! I felt safe and empowered! You do or you don't, whatever your desire, it's all good! I didn't wanna leave. It's been 4 days and I don't ever want to leave the place I feel I've just arrived to... So healing. So humbling. I want to go back!"
New York, NY
"A safe, non judgmental environment with clear boundaries, filled with gentle sensual spirits focused on intimacy and connection."
Chicago, IL
"Saying yes to this event will open you to getting to know yourself better and allow you to explore your natural sensual curiosity. If this idea feels a little out of your "comfort zone" then I encourage you say yes and explore this beauty-filled container alongside other amazing humans!"
"Prepare to be held with great care as you explore your primal and sensual desires in a community of lovers."
New York, NY
DESIRE is a members-only event.
To apply, follow these two steps:
Make sure to whitelist [email protected] because we WILL end up in spam. Yes, with "tantra" in our email sadly this happens all the time. And then you'll miss that beautiful glowing smile you'll have when you get an email from us that says "You're in!"
*NOTE: You must be invited by an existing member. Make sure to list their full name. If we don't recognize the member, your application will be discarded.
If it's your first time, we generally recommend that you take it easy, bask in the warm energy, enjoy the view, meet people and have conversations. We find often people who have never attended a play party come with unrealistic expectations. While it's possible you'll have a magical experience, with multiple partners, and end up with a beautiful heart-filled smile on your face... we encourage you to take the pressure off and just be open to what presents itself. Just being around a free environment that's this loving can be quite nourishing.
Wear what makes you feel sexy. Lingerie, kinky attire, costume.... You can bring a change of clothes if you want to arrive all stealth and then 'slip in to something more comfortable.' Some people bring multiple outfits and some come as they are. We do like it when you look nice, but whatever floats your boat.
All types of engagement are welcome. You can have full on penetrative sex, you can have sexual touch, you can have kissing... and you can also have dancing, cuddling, observing, and even wonderful conversations. The only requirements are consent + desire. We encourage participants to follow their desire with consent (and we model that and practice that as a group before we start).
We've never really been fans of sex clubs or most sex parties because, as attendees, we witnessed a lot of unconscious sex going on. Most of it felt very disconnected, both between the sexing individuals as well as there was no group vibe or collective feeling. The sex we witnessed would fall into a range of categories from novelty-seekers to performance-based exhibitive sex--none of which appealed to us. What we're interested in is true connection. Real, connected, sexual experiences (that need not be penetrative sex). Add to that a loving and warm community environment and you've got a solid recipe for all that magic you hear so much about from participants of this event.
We have singles, couples, threesomes, monogamous and polyamorous people, it's a great mix. Desire is also a private event and requires application. In the beginning we simply invited sexy friends that we personally knew. Over time they invited their friends and the Desire community grew. Now the application process is open to anyone who has taken a workshop with The Tantra Institute. We feel if you've done this, and you have a sense of our vibe, then we will consider adding you to our guest list.
The first 30 minutes is arrivals, people settle into the space, you're welcome to enjoy some of the food and snacks, take a tour of the venue and get comfortable. Then we start the facilitated portion of the evening. This includes logistics and safety info, consent and negotiation demonstration and practice, and everyone introduces themselves and shares some desires. Then we do some warm up connection exercises and at some point open it up for free play. Before the end of the night, we'll do a closing circle and share learnings, gratitudes, etc. It feels warm and cozy and people don't want to leave.
Never. You are always 100% at choice 100% of the time. We believe in empowerment and personal responsibility. We thoroughly review consent and how to ask for what you want, and we follow that up with a demonstration and group practice. Anyone who violates consent will be asked to leave--and thankfully we've never had to resort to that.
We have staff and space holders on hand that you can reach out to for any kind of support. Modern culture can be very desire-restrictive. Being in an environment where people feel liberated to follow their desire can elicit strong emotions or trigger our conditioning. Please reach out to a staff member. We also ask that you don't leave the space if you're triggered, as often the closing circle is a really great way to come down in community and ground into the space. And you're always encouraged to follow up with us after the event to check in with how you're integrating.
We sometimes invite experts to hold a Station. A Station is a place where an expert sets up to share their knowledge and participate with attendees. For instance, we may have a rope bondage expert come and set up a rope station, where anyone can come and engage, ask questions, or observe. If you're interested in offering a station for one of our events, get in touch!
Alcohol is not allowed. It dulls sensation, which is kind of the point of Desire. It also impairs your judgement, which means you lose the ability to give consent. So if you show up under the influence, you will be asked to leave without a refund.
Cacao is chocolate in its purest form. It is 100% cacao paste made from heirloom strains of cacao native to Central & South America. Cacao ceremonies culturally take root to indigenous communities from Central & South America. Ceremonial cacao is intentionally made to serve this purpose paying homage to traditional practices of production and consumption.
Cacao is a heart opener, and a natural source for the neurotransmitters serotonin, tryptophan, tyrosine and phenylethylamine, which are associated with warm feelings of wellbeing, happiness, and can even alleviate depression. A natural, healthy, delicious (and legal) way to get your happy buzz on. And it's entirely optional, just like everything else at the event.
We typically use around 33-35g in a serving at our event. By contrast, a ceremonial does is usually 40-50g.
Individuals currently taking any SSRIs, antidepressants, low blood pressure medication, or those undergoing chemotherapy treatment should not drink more than 22-30g. Or, if your doctor has told you to avoid chocolate. The combination of medication and cacao can cause adverse effects when consumed in higher doses. Women who are pregnant should not drink more than 15-20g. This means if you do choose to partake at the event, you should drink half a serving.
The main stimulating ingredient in cacao is theobromine, it is in the same family as caffeine, however it's much more gentle on the adrenal glands, nervous system, and much more alkalizing. You'll love the elevated mood, focus, and motivation that it provides. It's a perfect compliment to play.
We get our ceremonial grade cacao from Soul Lift Cacao, which is sourced in Guatemala. *In some cases, some facilitators may source elsewhere and you can ask them.
Doors close 30 minutes after the published start time. If you arrive after that we won't be able to let you in. We do not offer refunds for tickets and tickets are not transferable.
